They say, “Kindness is one size that fits all!” I was in awe of this philosophy, and the quote, too. But, my beliefs, like yours, cannot be the same for too long. Everything changes, and so is the act of kindness we do.
You may experience love and affection, care or attention, and comfort, but kindness — like loyalty — is a rare quality that we hardly get to feel in today’s epoch. I may be a little wrong in hasty generalization but the most important lesson I learned after the so-called lockdown period is that one can be kind, but not blind.
Verily, our act of kindness, generosity, or benevolence is shaped or driven by our privileges, choice, empathetic nature, or karmic expectations but staying kind for too long will diminish your energy. You need a rest, too! Amid the rat race to prove ourselves around and this also includes of conspicuous empathy, pausing ourselves has become a revolutionary act or a rare trait…and we hardly focus on our breath to align with the patterns of mindful living.
Being into guiding Mettabhavana Meditation, a Buddhist exercise that enhances the cognitive and behavioral actions to offer gratefulness and forgiveness to ourselves and radiate the energy to offer compassion to others, I have reached an experiential point to understand that there cannot be kindness holistically, but selectively. We can only help those who are willing to accept the help, otherwise talking to a wall has never produced a great teacher.
In my counseling sessions too, the very first approach is to make it clear by asking a simple question, “Are you ready to accept your pain before expecting to heal yourself?” This is not rude to ask, because it’s also important to preserve your energy since the takers may have no limits while you selflessly give!
It is good to be kind to all, as everyone is fighting a battle. Internally or externally. But there are people who also benefit from placing you in the battle. How unkind your kindness can be towards them?
The lockdown period has closely taught mankind a lesson, that is yet underrated, shaped by various lived experiences. Starting with the values of kindness, like the law of nature, we divided ourselves further. Some helped, some received the help, but some monetized the help. I know there is nothing called a free lunch, as somebody has to pay for it — either by force or consent; and, we can help others only if we have helped ourselves in the first place. “Offer me the tea, only when your teapot is not empty.”
Contextually, we like to do kindness to those who cannot do anything for us in return. A little act of kindness or kind gestures or kind words can change everything but don’t become unconditionally blind in the whirlpool of kindness because “your candles will be remembered and thanked only when the light goes off.”
