Lord Acton said it coherently, “Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” I am pretty sure that his understanding of power was shaped by the material forces of social interactions. Little have we schooled ourselves to relearn that the ‘real’ power is in your way of responding and reacting? Well, yes, it was Buddha who taught this: “if you cannot control what is happening, challenge yourself to channelize the way you respond to what is happening. That’s where the real power is.”
Isn’t Buddha’s quote manifesting a sign of catharsis here, especially in today’s epoch when political landscape has horrendously altered the consciousness of social realities and toxified our relations and interactions to a huge extent? I very much share solidarity with this issue, as it verily takes a toll on our mental health, emotional characteristics and attitude (behavior).
I know you have been through here against all those odds in your family, work space, networking and nevertheless social media. More power to you for being here and for reading my article. Let’s imbibe few Buddhistic stories, if we can, for our own welfare:
One day, the Buddha was walking through a village. On realizing the popularity of Buddha, a Brahmin angrily came up nearer to Buddha and began insulting him: “You have no right teaching others”
He shouted at Buddha very rudely: “See, you don’t even have proper foot wear and thou live under a tree like an animal. You are stupid and nothing but a fake yogi, a charlatan”
The Buddha didn’t react to the Brahmin’s activities at all who continued insulting.
Yet Buddha never seemed to get upset by his insults. This made the Brahmin wonder why Buddha is not reacting and responding to his anger. Eventually, he felt a bit drained and questioned Buddha on why he did not hit him back?
Buddha, still in his equanimity avatar, replied: “Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone and the person doesn’t accept it, to whom does the gift belong to?” The Brahmin felt funny to be asked such a strange question, and answered, “Obviously, Buddha, it would belong to me, because I bought the gift.”
The Buddha smiled and said: “You are right and it is exactly the same with your anger. I didn’t get insulted when you kept on throwing your anger at me because I never accept it. Think, who is to get unhappy and insulted now?”
This made the Brahmin ‘realize’ his arrogance as well as ignorance, and thus became the disciple of Buddha.
In the Akkosa Sutra (Buddhism), this story has been recorded and it continues to inspire ‘modern psychology’ too. Attachment to ego (idea of ‘self) can lead to the need to defend against any perceived insult. In psychological terms, according to Professor William Irvine, we react with anger to insults because we are “social animals driven by the desire to reach the top”. Prof William studied ‘insults’, and concluded in his book A Slap in the Face: Why Insults Hurt — and Why They Shouldn’t by ratiocinating: “What I realized was that the pain caused by insults is really just a symptom of a far more serious ailment: our participation in the social hierarchy game. We are people who need to be among people. The problem is that once we are among them, we feel compelled to sort ourselves into social hierarchies. If we were wolves, we’d fight to establish the social order of the pack. But since we are humans with outsized brains and language, we use words instead.”
And those words, he explains ‘hurt’ — they hurt, but they shouldn’t. The professor advises us to ignore the insult and carry on as if nothing happened — echoing advice from 2550 years ago from the Blessed One, Shakyamuni Buddha.
Buddha taught how to respond to people who insult us. Basically, his advice is to ignore the insult as meaningless — to not receive or acknowledge the insult. This really works, when applied, rather than whining ‘it is not easy’. In my case, on daily basis, I continue to apply after experiencing plenty of casteist slurs and angry remarks in office life and on social media respectively. Thoroughly, mindfulness meditation (vipassana) played a constructive role in calming myself and that’s how I do not dawdle my time and energy in calming the storm.
Ultimately, insults mean nothing at all, unless we react to them. They harm the giver of insults, not the receiver — or non-receiver, if we follow Buddha’s advice. As Buddha said: “As a mirror reflects an object, as a still lake reflects the sky: take care that what you speak or act is for good. For goodness will always cast back goodness and harm will always cast back harm.”
He offered a catharsis then: “Before speaking, ask yourself: is it kind, is it true, is it necessary?” This has literally altered my consciousness of speaking skills too. It can do to yours too!
