Comes the month of December, too windy and cold, but not so brutal than the realities of cold hearts. Apy was peeping out of his room’s window, experiencing the breeze of dawn, cheerful birds, waving trees and cherishing the blissful climate like never before. Who would not afford to enjoy such a scene, when the lifestyle has been boiled down to television and social media?
Apy was focusing on his breathing. He believes that focusing on inhaling and exhaling makes his mind not mindfool but mindful. The culture of society is such that Apy applies iconoclasm to look beyond what people’s interactions would not want him to see. “Tea time, beta” his mom entered his personal room with a cup of tea.
“Momma, the moment is so beautiful. I mean, it’s so much filled with serenity”, Apy replied after taking a sip of tea. The tea was green, considering that it is inured with health benefits.
“Apy, leave all these talks, tell me, when are you getting a promotion in your job?” asked his mom. Apy was in his own world, unpretending to listen but staying mindful over his sip of tea. Mom asked him again, but he was not infuriated yet.
“I do not know, mom, but the future is uncertain. Why not enjoy this climate and the tea now?”
“Apy, the world does not work that way. We have to worry so that we can decide the course of our next plans”
“Oh! Momma, no iota of worrying will anyway solve the problem. You see, life is uncertain so why not let me celebrate sipping this tea?!”
“Argh! Ridiculous. This is why you are lacking behind successfully, Apy. Look at Jai, your cousin, who is doing so much better than you!” Mom replied frustratedly
Apy was still in his state of equanimity. He achieved this state of mind by coming to a point in life, that life is simply a vehicle to reach the stage of death. Sooner or later. For he understood, in a somewhat hard way, that life is abstract and what matters more is how we live than what we live with. Our choice to live determines the concreteness of life, although his former professor, a Marxist, taught him that social and economic conditions determine the lifestyle and choices we make. Apy, as usual, was not convinced with his pedagogue’s teachings for a longer period of time, so he figured out his own way that he still thinks that is not convincing for himself yet.
He kept the cup aside. Took a deep breath, as if every volume of anxiety from this world would excrete away. He blinked his eyes and gave a smile to his mom, who was still frowning at him.
Apy very much understands that his mom’s cognition is shaped by the material factors that many human beings normally believe and subscribe. He stood up from his bed and stretched his body.
“This is getting too much, Apy!” yelled mom. Apy replied, “And how?”
“Aren’t you concerned about what I say? Am I a mad person? What do you think you are? When I die… Apy, you will realise my value of words!”
“Oh, mom! Cool down. Why are you worried about the future so much, when you don’t know what is there for you and me the next five minutes?” explained Apy
“Shut up and keep quiet. These talks are just crap. It serves no purpose and does not let you earn any bread either.” Mom continued ranting.
Apy was listening to her, empathetically, as he knows that listening with compassion is much better than listening to simply reply. He was getting this feeling that somewhere mom is trying to be more right than mindful. He took a pause from the continuity of interaction and informed his mom that he will switch on the laptop and look for more better job opportunities. The action silenced her mom and convinced her that he still obeys her.
It is not that Apy does not earn at all. He does. He is having access to food, clothing, shelter and wifi, which are important necessities, and was doing comparatively better than millions of people in his own nation who are yet to see the light of rudimentary stuff. Her mom, a dominant figure, would always want best from him and for him. Whereas, Apy thinks that the goal of life should stay linked with the mind’s health more than anything else. That’s why he is often taunted as ‘useless son’ at his home, for daring to think and act differently.
As soon as he switched on the laptop, Apy forgot what he was supposed to do. That is enjoying the dawn’s epoch. It is not that his dreams crashed there itself, but it is just that he was wanting more space to fly like a pigeon. As many who have found tranquility in a cage think that flying is an illness.
